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The Literary Groong - 03/08/2008

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	TAX TIPS FOR ARTISTS AND WRITERS

	by Kevork Kalayjian

	  First you have to add all your expenses.
	An expense is any outlay of cash, 
	or anything of monetary value
	which is deemed necessary
	to get you that which drives you;
	to repeat the noises you hear,
	to convey the feelings you live, 
	to express the things you imagine, 
	to transform the pain to laughter, 
	to put tears in the eye of the cynic, 
	to put a smile on a child's face, 
	that which you call inspiration.

	  Everything you do to achieve
	inspiration, is a deductible expense; 
	the trip you took to Utah
	to see the gas station attendant
	who replaced the murdered one,
	your search of your roots
	in Upstate New York, Rumania,
	England, France or Tasmania,
	your trip to the corner drug store, 
	your experience of 'love' on 42nd Street, 
	your train ride, just to witness
	the walls pass you by, 
	all are deductible expenses,
	as long as you can document them
	with your diaries and receipts. 

	  And then of course your entrance fees
	at 'T. T. The Bears' or the other place
	your beer, your cigarette, your ... as long as,
	it's instrumental in getting you inspired.

	  Once you add all your expenses
	it's time to figure out your income.

	  An income is anything of monetary value
	which you obtain in the process of
	dispensing inspiration. 

	  So you add all your royalties, 
	a "thank you" here, a "good work" there
	sale of your book, 13 cents each, 
	sale of your waterbed 89 dollars,
	sale of your soul to your creative impulse.

	  Add to your income the profit you share
	from throwing yourself into the ocean
	don't forget to say something about
	the survival of the whales, 
	the concentration camps, 
	they are still popular, and a good source
	for a quick return on investment,
	like justice, truth, and the happiness pursuit, 
	they are the in thing, and they will bear fruit.

	  Don't forget the income you obtain
	from your part-time  work at McDonalds, 
	your full time trial period at the museum, 
	the hospital, the grocery store, the office job.

	  When you have all these facts and your backups,
	place them all in a shoebox, and go to
	the I. R. S. Taxpayer Assistance line,
	or you can all come to me,
	I have no problems
	in counting your blessings.


--
Kevork K. Kalayjian, Jr.  A graduate of the AGBU's Melkonian
Educational Institute, Nicosia, Cyprus, holds a B.A. in Political
Science and Economics from Fairleigh Dickinson University, Rutherford,
NJ, a M. Ed.  Counseling Psychology, from WilliamPaterson University,
Wayne, NJ, and CPA requirements completed at Pace University,
NYC. Kevork resides in NY with his wife Maral, and three sons Aramazt,
Tro, and Ohanes. A descendant of survivors of the Genocide from the
town of Kilis, in the Cilician region of Armenia, an accountant by
profession, he likes to paint and write. His next project is to
collect the names of 100 volunteer Armenian-American families who
would like to resettle in Armenia and jump-start a new way of work and
life there. Some of his poems have been published in literary
periodicals such as "Ararat" and at www.poetry.com.

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