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TAX TIPS FOR ARTISTS AND WRITERS by Kevork Kalayjian First you have to add all your expenses. An expense is any outlay of cash, or anything of monetary value which is deemed necessary to get you that which drives you; to repeat the noises you hear, to convey the feelings you live, to express the things you imagine, to transform the pain to laughter, to put tears in the eye of the cynic, to put a smile on a child's face, that which you call inspiration. Everything you do to achieve inspiration, is a deductible expense; the trip you took to Utah to see the gas station attendant who replaced the murdered one, your search of your roots in Upstate New York, Rumania, England, France or Tasmania, your trip to the corner drug store, your experience of 'love' on 42nd Street, your train ride, just to witness the walls pass you by, all are deductible expenses, as long as you can document them with your diaries and receipts. And then of course your entrance fees at 'T. T. The Bears' or the other place your beer, your cigarette, your ... as long as, it's instrumental in getting you inspired. Once you add all your expenses it's time to figure out your income. An income is anything of monetary value which you obtain in the process of dispensing inspiration. So you add all your royalties, a "thank you" here, a "good work" there sale of your book, 13 cents each, sale of your waterbed 89 dollars, sale of your soul to your creative impulse. Add to your income the profit you share from throwing yourself into the ocean don't forget to say something about the survival of the whales, the concentration camps, they are still popular, and a good source for a quick return on investment, like justice, truth, and the happiness pursuit, they are the in thing, and they will bear fruit. Don't forget the income you obtain from your part-time work at McDonalds, your full time trial period at the museum, the hospital, the grocery store, the office job. When you have all these facts and your backups, place them all in a shoebox, and go to the I. R. S. Taxpayer Assistance line, or you can all come to me, I have no problems in counting your blessings. -- Kevork K. Kalayjian, Jr. A graduate of the AGBU's Melkonian Educational Institute, Nicosia, Cyprus, holds a B.A. in Political Science and Economics from Fairleigh Dickinson University, Rutherford, NJ, a M. Ed. Counseling Psychology, from WilliamPaterson University, Wayne, NJ, and CPA requirements completed at Pace University, NYC. Kevork resides in NY with his wife Maral, and three sons Aramazt, Tro, and Ohanes. A descendant of survivors of the Genocide from the town of Kilis, in the Cilician region of Armenia, an accountant by profession, he likes to paint and write. His next project is to collect the names of 100 volunteer Armenian-American families who would like to resettle in Armenia and jump-start a new way of work and life there. Some of his poems have been published in literary periodicals such as "Ararat" and at www.poetry.com.